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第3章 黑猫3（第1页）

tOnenight，returninghome，muchintoxicated，fromoneofmyhauntsabouttown，Ifanciedthatthecatavoidedmyresence。Iseizedhim;when，inhisfrightatmyviolence，heinflictedaslightwounduonmyhandwithhisteeth。Thefuryofademoninstantlyossessedme。Iknewmyselfnolonger。Myoriginalsoulseemed，atonce，totakeitsflightfrommybodyandamorethanfiendishmalevolence，gin-nurtured，thrilledeveryfibreofmyframe。Itookfrommywaistcoat-ocketaen-knife，oenedit，grasedtheoorbeastbythethroat，anddeliberatelycutoneofitseyesfromthesocket!Iblush，Iburn，Ishudder，whileIenthedamnableatrocity。

Whenreasonreturnedwiththemorning—whenIhadsletoffthefumesofthenightsdebauch—Iexeriencedasentimenthalfofhorror，halfofremorse，forthecrimeofwhichIhadbeenguilty;butitwas，atbest，afeebleandequivocalfeeling，andthesoulremaineduntouched。Iagainlungedintoexcess，andsoondrownedinwineallmemoryofthedeed。

Inthemeantimethecatslowlyrecovered。Thesocketofthelosteyeresented，itistrue，afrightfulaearance，buthenolongeraearedtosufferanyain。Hewentaboutthehouseasusual，but，asmightbeexected，fledinextremeterroratmyaroach。Ihadsomuchofmyoldheartleft，astobeatfirstgrievedbythisevidentdislikeontheartofacreaturewhichhadoncesolovedme。Butthisfeelingsoongavelacetoirritation。Andthencame，asiftomyfinalandirrevocableoverthrow，thesiritofPERVERSENESS。Ofthissirithilosohytakesnoaccount。YetIamnotmoresurethatmysoullives，thanIamthaterversenessisoneoftherimitiveimulsesofthehumanheart—oneoftheindivisiblerimaryfaculties，orsentiments，whichgivedirectiontothecharacterofMan。Whohasnot，ahundredtimes，foundhimselfcommittingavileorasillyaction，fornootherreasonthanbecauseheknowsheshouldnot?Havewenotaeretualinclination，intheteethofourbestjudgment，toviolatethatwhichisLaw，merelybecauseweunderstandittobesuch?Thissiritoferverseness，Isay，cametomyfinaloverthrow。Itwasthisunfathomablelongingofthesoultovexitself—toofferviolencetoitsownnature—todowrongforthewrongssakeonly—thaturgedmetocontinueandfinallytoconsummatetheinjuryIhadinflicteduontheunoffendingbrute。

Onemorning，incoolblood，Isliedanooseaboutitsneckandhungittothelimbofatree;—hungitwiththetearsstreamingfrommyeyes，andwiththebitterestremorseatmyheart;—hungitbecauseIknewthatithadlovedme，andbecauseIfeltithadgivenmenoreasonofoffence;—hungitbecauseIknewthatinsodoingIwascommittingasin—adeadlysinthatwouldsojeoardizemyimmortalsoulastolaceit—ifsuchathingwereossible—evenbeyondthereachoftheinfinitemercyoftheMostMercifulandMostTerribleGod。

Onthenightofthedayonwhichthiscrueldeedwasdone，Iwasarousedfromsleebythecryoffire。Thecurtainsofmybedwereinflames。Thewholehousewasblazing。Itwaswithgreatdifficultythatmywife，aservant，andmyself，madeourescaefromtheconflagration。Thedestructionwascomlete。Myentireworldlywealthwasswallowedu，andIresignedmyselfthenceforwardtodesair。

Iamabovetheweaknessofseekingtoestablishasequenceofcauseandeffect，betweenthedisasterandtheatrocity。ButIamdetailingachainoffacts—andwishnottoleaveevenaossiblelinkimerfect。Onthedaysucceedingthefire，Ivisitedtheruins。Thewalls，withoneexcetion，hadfallenin。Thisexcetionwasfoundinacomartmentwall，notverythick，whichstoodaboutthemiddleofthehouse，andagainstwhichhadrestedtheheadofmybed。Thelasteringhadhere，ingreatmeasure，resistedtheactionofthefire—afactwhichIattributedtoitshavingbeenrecentlysread。Aboutthiswalladensecrowdwerecollected，andmanyersonsseemedtobeexaminingaarticularortionofitwitheveryminuteandeagerattention。Thewords

"strange!

"，

"singular!

"andothersimilarexressions，excitedmycuriosity。Iaroachedandsaw，asifgraveninbasreliefuonthewhitesurface，thefigureofagiganticcat。Theimressionwasgivenwithanaccuracytrulymarvellous。Therewasaroeabouttheanimalsneck。

WhenIfirstbeheldthisaarition—forIcouldscarcelyregarditasless—mywonderandmyterrorwereextreme。Butatlengthreflectioncametomyaid。Thecat，Iremembered，hadbeenhunginagardenadjacenttothehouse。Uonthealarmoffire，thisgardenhadbeenimmediatelyfilledbythecrowd—bysomeoneofwhomtheanimalmusthavebeencutfromthetreeandthrown，throughanoenwindow，intomychamber。Thishadrobablybeendonewiththeviewofarousingmefromslee。Thefallingofotherwallshadcomressedthevictimofmycrueltyintothesubstanceofthefreshly-sreadlaster;thelimeofwhich，hadthenwiththeflames，andtheammoniafromthecarcass，accomlishedtheortraitureasIsawit。

AlthoughIthusreadilyaccountedtomyreason，ifnotaltogethertomyconscience，forthestartlingfactjustdetailed，itdidnotthelessfalltomakeadeeimressionuonmyfancy。FormonthsIcouldnotridmyselfofthehantasmofthecat;and，duringthiseriod，therecamebackintomysiritahalf-sentimentthatseemed，butwasnot，remorse。Iwentsofarastoregretthelossoftheanimal，andtolookaboutme，amongthevilehauntswhichInowhabituallyfrequented，foranotheretofthesamesecies，andofsomewhatsimilaraearance，withwhichtosulyitslace。